Paula Houseman

 
 
 

Category Archives: Writing

The Poetic Slicence of Plastic Surgery

October 31st, 2018

My, What Big Ears You Have! I love Matt Stone and Trey Parker, creators of South Park. I love their warped humour and their characters—foul-mouthed, politically incorrect bunch of yobs! I admire Stone and Parker’s ability to satirise. Apparently, I do a bang-up job of this myself, according to an Amazon Hall of Fame reviewer. … Read more

I’ll Show You My Mess If You Show Me Yours!

October 23rd, 2018

Utter Clutter Nutter I ♥ mess. Yyeah, baby! But wait up … that doesn’t mean I’m a slob/slug/layabout/slack-arse. I’m not. It’s just that once you have kids, any sense of structure, order, and control goes down the crapper. Pre-ankle-biter days, I was anal retentive. Example: the bathroom of our very first house had a stainless-steel … Read more

Bye-Bye Alpha & Beta-Males. Meet the Best Man!

September 18th, 2018

Is a Beta Better? They say there’s a new man in town. I say his days are numbered! A stereotype called the beta-male is roaming the streets. Unlike a former holder of the post, the alpha-hole, Mr Beta is not cruising to pick up a one-night stand. Mr Beta has likely got a leash in … Read more

Political Correctness or Man Up?

June 25th, 2018

Correct Me If I’m Wrong Who the he’ll hell doesn’t love autocorrect! This software feature delivers us from the scutwork—from having to type all those pesky little words like ‘the’, ‘a’, ‘of’ or ‘or’. But it can also put a spanner in the works. A cute little story in a magazine several years ago tells of … Read more

A No-Bullshit Approach to Clickbait?

May 4th, 2018

Memory Lane: Closed Lately, my memory is taking too many naps. I keep forgetting stuff. It’s nothing serious … Or is it? I don’t think it’s age-related—tweenagers are complaining about the same thing—and my neurons are getting a daily superhero workout. As an author, I’m always writing. And I’m having to stretch myself to do … Read more

Are You a Kick-Arse Woman in Your Own Life Story?

April 30th, 2018

Meet Ms Perfect … What woman doesn’t love the quintessential female protagonist? Who doesn’t aspire to emulate a wonder woman—a fit ’n’ healthy, perfectly-sculpted chick with an hour-glass figure (but leaning towards lean), lustrous locks, flawless skin, a sense of her own self, assertive in the boardroom, a tiger in the bedroom? A gal who … Read more

Dear Writers (& Everyone), Size Matters …

October 4th, 2017

And How—The Bigger the Better! In the modern I‑♥‑quantity mindset, size matters. Yessiree, Bob! Gimme an L! Gimme an O! Gimme a T! Gimme an S! Gimme LOTS LOTS LOTS! In the Digital Age, the implication is that I must be okay if I have lots of whatever; the subliminal message—my worth depends on it. … Read more

The Anatomy of My Weird Characters

August 29th, 2017

I See Strange People Both my parents were immigrants. It was pretty much all they had in common—they lived together, but were poles apart. She was a staid walking cliché who struggled to live the Australian way; he thought he was living it because he could fart the national anthem. My father the patriot. She … Read more

Why It’s Time for a New Women’s Anthem!

April 14th, 2017

I ♥ My Dirty-Girl Mouth I have a potty-mouth. It’s not a bad thing. For a long time, though, I was ashamed of what came out of my bazoo. Why couldn’t I be demure—ladylike, like the fairy-tale damsel? It’s not as if I didn’t try to make nice. We bobby-socked baby-boomers were groomed to. Still, … Read more

Why the Lure of Horror Is a Good Thing

April 3rd, 2017

A Nightmare on Overwhelm Street The man’s bloodied forearm dangled limply outside the door of his horribly smashed-up car. I slowed down to get a better look at this accident on the other side of the road. The drivers in front of me had also reduced speed, but the stretch ahead of them was clear. No … Read more