Paula Houseman

 
 
 

Category Archives: Stories

Why Married Chicks Crush on Fictional Characters

October 11th, 2018

A Novel Thing? Hardly Do you have fictional character crushes? Do you finish a book and feel a little bereft, even if it has a happily-ever-after ending?  Do you get lost in the male protagonist with his six-foot plus of hot model gorgeousness? His chiselled jawline, strong cleft chin, Cupid’s-bow lips, and brown puppy-dog eyes; … Read more

Bye-Bye Alpha & Beta-Males. Meet the Best Man!

September 18th, 2018

Is a Beta Better? They say there’s a new man in town. I say his days are numbered! A stereotype called the beta-male is roaming the streets. Unlike a former holder of the post, the alpha-hole, Mr Beta is not cruising to pick up a one-night stand. Mr Beta has likely got a leash in … Read more

Are You a Kick-Arse Woman in Your Own Life Story?

April 30th, 2018

Meet Ms Perfect … What woman doesn’t love the quintessential female protagonist? Who doesn’t aspire to emulate a wonder woman—a fit ’n’ healthy, perfectly-sculpted chick with an hour-glass figure (but leaning towards lean), lustrous locks, flawless skin, a sense of her own self, assertive in the boardroom, a tiger in the bedroom? A gal who … Read more

Dear Writers (& Everyone), Size Matters …

October 4th, 2017

And How—The Bigger the Better! In the modern I‑♥‑quantity mindset, size matters. Yessiree, Bob! Gimme an L! Gimme an O! Gimme a T! Gimme an S! Gimme LOTS LOTS LOTS! In the Digital Age, the implication is that I must be okay if I have lots of whatever; the subliminal message—my worth depends on it. … Read more

The Anatomy of My Weird Characters

August 29th, 2017

I See Strange People Both my parents were immigrants. It was pretty much all they had in common—they lived together, but were poles apart. She was a staid walking cliché who struggled to live the Australian way; he thought he was living it because he could fart the national anthem. My father the patriot. She … Read more

Why It’s Time for a New Women’s Anthem!

April 14th, 2017

I ♥ My Dirty-Girl Mouth I have a potty-mouth. It’s not a bad thing. For a long time, though, I was ashamed of what came out of my bazoo. Why couldn’t I be demure—ladylike, like the fairy-tale damsel? It’s not as if I didn’t try to make nice. We bobby-socked baby-boomers were groomed to. Still, … Read more

Why the Lure of Horror Is a Good Thing

April 3rd, 2017

A Nightmare on Overwhelm Street The man’s bloodied forearm dangled limply outside the door of his horribly smashed-up car. I slowed down to get a better look at this accident on the other side of the road. The drivers in front of me had also reduced speed, but the stretch ahead of them was clear. No … Read more

Does Cupid Aim to Please? Or Is He One Sharp Cookie?

February 13th, 2017

Love Is Blind, Deaf, and Dumbed-Down Chubs draws back his bow, shoots his ♥-tipped arrow, and pierces the heart of our love interest. Aww. Happy Valentine’s Day. This picture, this Hallmark moment, is the stuff of fairy tales. Rewind some centuries, though—before these fluffy stories made us go all gooey; before February 14 was known … Read more

Why a Square Peg in a Round Hole Is the Ideal Fit

June 7th, 2016

Here’s to the Crazy Ones! It was a small poster that came in the mail almost twenty years ago. Apple sent it to me because I was a true-blue Mac user. ‘Here’s to the Crazy Ones,’ it said. Woo-hoo! I felt buoyed, not because I liked being considered crazy—the poster wasn’t personal, although, it was … Read more

How I Deal with the Inner Critic

April 8th, 2016

SHUUUT UUUUUUUP! Does that work for you? Mostly, it does nothing for me. Zip. Nada. Bupkis. The inner critic won’t listen. All writers have to contend with one, but writers don’t have the monopoly. This bitchy, nit-picking predator of the psyche doesn’t pick and choose. It assails everyone. I couldn’t silence mine—and I was loath … Read more